Euro 2008: The Reign of Spain

We know we’ve been a bit slack on the posting front lately, but waddya want from us? Check that post count on the right, it’s a record month so enough with the guilt trips already.

Ahem, but now onto more serious business and last night’s Spain v Germany Euro 2008 final of which we can all agree that football was the winner, a shift in the European power base may be happening and that Spain, one of the most attractive teams in the tournament, finally got their just desserts.

And a million other such worthy platitudes.

Further observations? ...Yup we’ve got a couple, Spain were undoubtedly the better team on the night, pleasing on the eye throughout and perhaps should have scored even more. However the first ten minutes were nervous times and required a subtle tactical switch to stop Germany rampaging down the left. Also had David Villa been sent off for that mini-butt (induced by Lukas Podolski who should also have gone off) it might have been a whole different story.

But here’s the key moment for us and where the Spanish won it. Football is all about momentum and just after the hour mark a mini-German revival threatened to put Spain under the cosh and a goal against them then might have raised all the old doubts and shifted the balance of power in the game. An equaliser would surely have tested Spain’s both resolve and their nerve to the utmost.

However Luis Aragones' made key substitutions to snuff out that revival, Spain found their rhythm, German heads went down again and the rest is history. Aragones’ decisions as much as any player on the pitch actually won this tournament for the Spanish and he will undoubtedly be made a living (if slightly racist) saint for his trouble.

Still we couldn’t say farewell to Euro 2008 (one of the finest tournaments in living memory) without a final word from ‘Angry’ Jens Lehman. Now Jens is a man of strong convictions, convictions which often fly in the face of reality, but strong ones nonetheless.

As the collective Spanish hangover began and the German tears were finally drying, Jens (who'd even give the Aussies a run for their money in a bad loser bellyache- off), was straight into full on rant-a-quote mode blaming Deutschland’s defeat on the man in black:

“What was disappointing in my opinion was the performance of the referee, who didn't really fancy us Germans.” Herr Lehman managed to follow that up with the rather surreal, “I'm not the kind of person to blame other people.”

It’s not clear whether this represents the barmy shot stopper’s final tourney or indeed his parting shot for international football, but we urge you, Jens, don’t retire, we’d miss those crazy quotes far too much.

Euro 2008: Semi-Final Turkey v Germany

Wednesday sees us enjoying the delights of the West Country and the final leg of our training course in Bath in which we learn best how to push our employees’ buttons.

But and after a hard day on the train, Turkey versus Germany looms and so it's immediately out on the lash with Cagey and the Donfather, two sales reprobates of our long-standing acquaintance.

Sticking to bog standard cooking lager ensures things don't get overly messy but we work our smoothly through a couple of local hostelries before settling in to the Pig and Whistle, and a very fine night ensues – with the traditional banter heavy on our receding hairlines/shortness/fatness/gayness and the now compulsory filching of a mobile phone to send ‘I’ve something to tell you, I'm coming out of the closet’ text messages to all of Cagey’s contacts.

The tavern is packed with a small but vocal contingent of Turkish fans and naturally we’re empathizing with the underdogs. But the match kicks off and the form book goes out of the window as the depleted Turks totally outplay Germany in the first half, and only Schweinsteiger's superbly deft goal keeps the Germans in it. The Turks give them a right old battering.

But things return to form in the second half and almost inevitably the Germans go ahead late on as reserve goalkeeper Rustu goes madly off piste and it looks like the Germans have stolen it.

Suddenly the Turks pull their Stalagluft 17 routine again and Semih equalizes and it looks for all the world as if they'll take it to extra time. But the Germans to mine a cliché are clinical and Lahm's late winner sinks a valiant effort and there’s disbelief and bitter and twisted disappointment not only on the streets of Istanbul but here in Bath as well.

The Turkish supporters leave more deflated than a week old kid’s balloon, but their spirited run to the last four on a wing and a prayer have done the Turks a world of credit and their Great Escapes have enriched the tournament. Fateh Terim’s side should take great heart from this performance having failed to ever qualify for a finals ever before.

This was just one game too far for the Turks, but one of the best ever semi-finals, breathless, entertaining and thrilling.

Playing Catch Up

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Euro 2008: Germany 3 Portugal 2

Well what a turn up for the books that was… by chance a double booking took us to the Twenty20 last night in dear old St John’s Wood which meant we missed most of what must go down as one of the classic Euro encounters

While we were swilling down great quantities of beer and wine and getting agreeably shit-faced in NW8, one of the great quarter-finals was unfolding as an apparently rocky Germany took on the much-fancied might of Portugal.

Now it’s a universally held truth that betting against Germany in the knock out stages of any major tournament is like betting on the white guy in a boxing match; it’s something you just don’t do, even if you’ve as little sense as we have.

But the German 2008 vintage had looked spectacularly poor in the group stages and had not so much belied their billing as pre-tournament favourites, but had seemed determined to set out to systematically dismantle it.

Shows what we know, with Ballack’s boys exposing some really poor set piece defending and consigning Big Phil - in what turned out to be his last game in charge - to being one of the also rans... again.

With a wealth of talent and such an impressive manager Portugal probably the finest modern international team never to have won anything and must remain filed under ‘unfulfilled’.

But credit to Big Phil who was man enough to shoulder most of the blame himself.

That was classy. Interesting times in the Premiership await.

Euro 2008: Russia v Sweden

Okay so we’re not afraid to admit we get it wrong occasionally. But much against our better judgement we did tune in last night only to find the Russians a team reborn and reignited by the return of Andrei Arshavin.

The Reds disposed of the hapless Swedes with much aplomb and it was not so much the defeat, but the manner of it which really caught the eye, with the Russians surging forward in numbers and at times, absolutely swamping the Swedish defence.

It really was the most one-sided encounter and a quarter final with Holland looms which should prove to be a sumptuous feast of attacking delights. (Just watch it become a nil-nil bore-a-thon after that hot tip).

But while Arshavin pulled the strings on the field, behind the scenes of course the chief mover is the redoubtable Gus Hiddink who pound for pound must surely rank as one of the top five managers in the world. His record in World Cups is exceptional and he’s really getting the best of out of this talented but previously un-fancied team (and incidentally nailing once and for all the myth that England really deserve to be there).

Elsewhere just to prove that every ounce of compassion hasn't been wrung from our cynical hearts, we send a message of solidarity to the four England rugby players who are being questioned in NZ over an alleged ‘incident’ in a hotel room.

The sheep, (or personal entertainment system, as it’s known In NZ) concerned has apparently declined to make a complaint, but sources close to the ovis aries involved said, “Baaaaaaa, one hotel room, four rugger buggers, she knew she was in for a good shearing.”

Euro 2008: Too. Much. Football.

Can you have too much of a good thing? Try telling that to the man currently turking Angelina Jolie I guess (hey Brad!), but with the prospect of Spain versus Greece and Russia v Sweden tonight, you know, we’re seriously starting to wonder.

But first to business and last night’s Euro 2008 action which promised to be one of the most enthralling of contests, but actually turned out to be a bit of damp squid (the chav’s version of a damp squib).

As long suffering readers will know, we’re not exactly the biggest fans of France, nothing personal, but ooh la, la sacre bleu and all that they actually achieved what we thought was the impossible last night, in that we started to feel more than a little sorry for them.

Ribery crocking himself royally within the first 15 minutes, Eric Abidal off within 25, the only bright spot was Luca Toni who couldn’t have finished a sentence... but eventually the Italians via Henry’s boot applied the coup de grace.

And Romania too? Outplayed by Holland’s ‘bitter and twisted’ benchwarmers...

So we have to say we’re not exactly enthralled at tonight’s prospects. Why does that feel right, when it should feel soooo wrong?

Euro 2008: Last Man Standing

And so to the biggest game of the week and a chance to see not just one but possibly both of the World Cup finalists eliminated on the very same night.

While the frenzy of permutations in last night’s Group B game was enough to give statisticians a semi of their own, tonight it’s quite simple, whether it's France or Italy who win, they could both lose if a weakened Holland are overcome by the Romanians.

But should the Dutch deliberately lose this game thus eliminating two deadly rivals, one of whom they may face again in the semi? You just know if France or Italy spawn their way through, they’ll get some belief back, pick up momentum and probably go on to win it.

The Dutch will play their second string for sure, but they certainly won’t go so far as to hand Romania victory, even if it’s ultimately in their own self interest.

Or will they? We Spurters would kick ‘em while they’re down, but the Oranje may just be too sporting and nice to have truck with that kind of malarkey.

Both games are going to be fascinating to watch in oh-so-many many ways.

Pushing the boundaries...

...And so to Monday and back to the salt mines where we labour long and hard and are appreciated not...

Unlike Kevin KP Pietersen who’s splendid century set up an absolute romp of a victory for England in the ODI against the Kiwis yesterday. Arguably poor old neglected Owais Shah’s excellent 49 from 29 balls was as good, but it’s KP as usual who grabs all the headlines.

The reason this time though is his switch hitting which is an extension of the reverse sweep and was first unfurled against Mattiah Muralitharan a couple of years ago.

Basically as the bowler delivers, KP flips hands and stance so that he’s mirroring his usual one and almost playing a left hander’s shot and yesterday he tonked Scott Styris for two sixes in the most audacious manner.

It was phenomenal to watch and extremely exciting and of course this has naturally led traditionalists to mutter into their beards about whether it should be banned.

Now we’re all for preserving the traditions of the game, but in this case the nay sayers are wrong. Maybe a couple of other laws will need amending (which becomes legstump, how wides and LBW will work, field placings etc.) but in this case we should definitely encourage innovation, not punish it.

This is the kind of audacious stroke which absolutely lights up the shorter form of the game and is compelling to watch, even if it’ll just be for the comedy value of watching lesser batsman try to play it.

Euro 2008: Cheat Your Way Out of That Then

The Euro 2008 group stages have thrown up some cracking final games, so far I am still laughing at the prospect of Austria v Germany where only one can go through. I can imagine the odd party in Algeria after this one as well ...

In 1982 West Germany and Austria played out possibly the most fixed World Cup game ever. After Algeria had beaten West Germany 2-1 in the first group game, lost to Austria 2-0 and then beaten Chile 3-2 in their final group game, they were left second in the group - behind Austria - with four points. (Ah, those heady days of two points for a win and non-simultaneous final group games.) West Germany trailed in third place with two points, with their final group game against Austria due to be played the following day.

A West German win by 1 or 2 goals would qualify WG and Austria, while a German victory by a bigger margin would qualify Algeria over Austria, and a draw or an Austrian win would eliminate the Germans. (Try to keep up!)

West Germany duly attacked like hell for ten minutes, scored, and then both teams kicked the ball around for another 80 minutes in the most obviously fixed match ever seen (to this day!)

Algerian supporters waved banknotes at the players. The Spanish crowd hurled abuse, and one German fan was so distressed by the performance he burnt his German flag.

As a result of the game - actually as a result of the reaction to the game, you know what Blatter's like - FIFA changed their regulations so that the final group games are always played simultaneously.

Group B Final Games, 7.45pm Sunday 15th June:

• Poland v Croatia
• Austria v Germany

Croatia are through already. Germany and Austria need to beat each other to go through. I think Poland are out whichever way you look at it, but I'm out of time now and want to go to the cafe, so that's left as an exercise to the reader...

Euro 2008: Frogs spanked Word of the Day part deux

Euro 2008 Word of the Day, we liked yesterday’s effort so much we’re going to do it all over again aujourd'hui, so welcome as they say, to part deux.

So today’s word (pause for drum roll) is Hubris an elegant word naturellement and coming from the Greek (though it could be Francais) meaning ‘ill deserved arrogance or pride, misplaced self confidence, a misguided conviction in one’s own qualities which is rapidly proved to be patently untrue.’

In a footballing sense meaning ‘an over dependence on ageing étoiles, who are past their peak, au-delà leur meilleur.’

So hubris, World of Spurt’s Euro 2008 Word of the Day.

Why should that be relevant today?

No reason, just saying…

Euro 2008: Krauts tonked Word of the Day part Eins

Schadenfreude:– A German word meaning ‘unfeigned glee or sheer delight in the misfortunes of others’. Those clever Germans they have a word for everything don’t they?

Perhaps it shows up the failings of our own poor sorry excuse for a language, the one with which Shakespeare, Milton and Tennyson just had to make do and muck on through, but surely it’s a bit of an omission when we don’t have a handy single word to sum up and encapsulate our overwhelming feelings on this sunny Friday morning.

So ladies and gentlemen we give you the World of Spurt’s new Euro 2008 word of the Day, the splendid ‘Schadenfreude’.

Why should that be particularly relevant?

No particular reason, just saying.

The Emperor’s new clothes

Hats and indeed all clothes off to Premier League Chairman Sir Dave Richards who caught off guard no doubt, finally answered the unanswerable in The Guardian about whether the number of foreign players in the top flight had damaged the prospects of the national side.

A resounding ‘yes’ from honest Sir Dave who finally acknowledged the great Premier League hairy mammoth in the room while simultaneously admitting that this fact had probably cost Steve McLaren his job.

So let’s at least there’s an up side, yeah?

Still it’s made him about as popular as a shit on a stick for breaking ranks and saying the unsayable. What no-one tells you about the little boy who spoke up about the emperor’s new clothes: he got a damn good slapping for his trouble.

However there’s breaking and rather intriguing news from the European Commission who’ve taken the first tentative step on the long road to denying the influx of Kolpak players currently infesting the county championship and rugby union.

Clarifying the Cotonou agreement (a similar deal to Kolpak which applies to Caribbean, South African and Pacific Island states and citizens) EC Commissioner Michal Krejza has said: “It’s the decision of individual member states to admit Cotonou players, not that of the European Union.’

This could pave the way for the ECB to legitimately limit the number of Kolpak players who’ve doubled in the last twelve months.

Sometimes it’s the smallest of victories which give you hope.

Euro 2008: Reaches a new low Greece vs Sweden

To Euro 2008 again and now we’ve had a chance to see every team in the tournament display its wares, we’ve got to say Holland, Portugal, Spain and inevitably Germany are looking mighty good.

Them’s the heights, but now beloved reader the depths: to wit Greece versus Sweden a game so tedious we simply lost the will to live at half time and tucked into the first two episodes of Battlestar Galactica Season 2 instead.

Now we still have to pinch ourselves to believe Greece are the holders and the we aren’t still on the crack, but at least the 2004 vintage was built on recognisable if unspectacular virtues, packing the box at set pieces and displaying a defensive attitude which would put the 300 to shame

Last night however, they were just plain annoying passing the ball endlessly around the back three to run down the clock and THIS WAS IN THE FIRST HALF.

But lo the gods of football looked down from Olympus and displayed their wrath, rightly punishing the Greeks for crimes against the game and allowing Zlatan Ibrahimovic to unleash his own wondrous thunderbolt and win it for the Swedes.

Justice was served, everyone was happy, well obviously not the Greeks, but they weren’t exactly bearing footballing gifts anyway.*

*Like most sportswriters we are contractually obliged to include the old ‘Greeks bearing gifts’ cliché, in this case due to a new sponsorship deal with Harry’s Humous. The finest Humous this side of the Acropolis!

Euro 2008: Dutch Masters subdue Italian Stallions

The Euros finally sprung into action last night with a quality encounter between the Netherlands and Italy which finally ended the rather sluggish start to the tournament

3-0 to the Dutch masters and who’d have predicted that before the game?

Van the man’s opener? Controversial yes and almost certainly offside by most conventional definitions, except the chief of the referees committee Keith Hackett obviously.

After that Sneider’s breakaway strike for the second was truly one of the great team goals with van Bronckhorst clearing off his own line, the ball moving fluidly to the other end of the park and in the back of the net before the Italians react. One to add to Van Bastan’s classic against Russia in the annals of great Euro goals.

You have to feel sorry for Italy who actually played okay and went close a couple of times, but truly the force was with Holland and they could do no wrong.

Hep Hep Nederland!

Early contender for worst innovation of the tournament so far? Nope not the entire Match of the Day studio panel or indeed ITVs title sequence but undoubtedly the BBC's virtual goaliser or whatever the feck they call it. Utterly pointless: when you can get all the goals on the I-player replay anyway and it looks like a poor man’s FIFA 98.

Worst use of the license fee evah! It’s a good job we don’t bother paying the bast...

Ahem night all.

Monikers

Too. Much. Sport. Not three words we’d ever thought we’d ever write in succession but it’s been that sort of weekend with the Test series against the Kiwis to wrap up, the Canadian Grand Prix, Euro 2008 kicking off and half an ear to keep on the tennis too.

First up then good news for Poland in the F1 and an extremely happy Mrs Spurt who immensely enjoyed Kubica’s maiden win, which made up for the 2-0 spanking from Germany shortly afterward. Alas poor Lewis, easy mistake to make, I mean it’s not as if red’s the universal colour for stop... oh wait

However chief victim Kimi Raikkonen didn’t exactly cover himself in glory either in a startling display of petulance , "I'm not angry but what Hamilton did was inexplicable. More, it was stupid." He’s right of course inexplicably smashing into the back of someone for no good reason is inexcusable, stupid even, an opinion no doubt shared by Force India’s Adrian Sutil. He at least had the good grace to keep his gob firmly in neutral, when Raikkonen managed that feat just one short race a go.

To the Test victory next and a comprehensive caning for the Kiwis with James ‘modesty forbids’ Anderson coming over all shy when named man of the match. “I just managed to get the ball in the right areas and they missed it, which was nice," he said.

Not. Really. Good. Enough. Clearly Anderson has made some great progress, but to really take it to the next level he has to work on one more vital area, to whit his nickname, which is a worryingly underwhelming ‘The Burnley Express’.

Now that is just not going to terrify the world’s leading batsmen and clearly coach Ottis Gibson has some work to do. ‘Whispering death’, ‘Big Bird’, ‘White Lightning’ ‘The Rawalpindi Express’ those are the kind of names to aim for and let’s hope young Jimmy has something suitably forbidding in place in time for the South African series.

Suggestions welcome in the comments field below. We’ll kick you off with Jimmy ‘one bad mo’fo’ Anderson.

Perhaps he could take a leaf out of Manchester United defender Rio Ferdinand’s book, who’s in Nigeria to promote education through football and has been given the title of Chief Fiwagboola by King Akiolu.

Apparently it stands for 'character maketh wealth' rather than ‘attention deficit disorder’.

Euro 2008 kicks off

And so welcome to our belated coverage of Euro 2008. We say belated because on a weekend like this, there's a veritable cornucopia of sporting endeavour to savour and you need more eyes than Argus (little classical allusion there but we've hit the vino early) and are in more spurting minds than a dog with three dicks.

Frankly multi-tasking doesn't even begin to cover it on Saturday night with England closing in on a win in the Test after asking the Kiwis to follow on (which sounds like a civilised invitation but really is the exact opposite), joining Mrs Spurt monitoring the Canadian GP qualifying and Czech opening the tournament against the Swiss hosts in Basel, with Portugal vs Turkey as the main course later in the evening ,

To the Euros first and an opening ceremony which was marginally less out and out bonkers than we usually see, in that it was vaguely comprehensible, partly in keeping with the whole Swiss/Austria alpine theme and not just the usual combination of abstract shapes, high concepts and piss poor performance art.

A fairly decent game ensues in which the Czech's win 1-0 and influential Swiss captain Frei is crocked is a welcome h'ors derves for the tournament proper,

However surfing over to Montreal and Robert Kubica snatches pole, well almost, until a barnstorming final lap from Lewis Hamilton powers home to leave England and Poland one-two on the grid, probably the only time we'll see that this summer. The Ferraris are nowhere and it promises a decent race for tonight.

But back to the football and with any of the home nations absent, we've decided the Euros are not about who you want to win, they're all about who you don't and for us that means Germany, France and or Portugal, who romped all over Turkey last night.

Oh all alright if you insist we pick a winner, Greece, are the unlikliest defending champions since David took on Goliath's bigger brother and surely that means we've got to root for Spain the side for which the phrase perennial underachievers could have been minted, if England hadn't already made it their own. Nope it's Spain and especially the Netherlands who carry all out hopes oh and Poland for Mrs Spurt while Croatia are our dark horses. That should cover all the bases.

Modesty Forbids

Where we spurt others most surely follow and while modest forbids and all that, it was undoubtedly the Spurt wot done it with Wednesday’s fine upstanding column finally tipping the balance and ensuring Cristiano went public on his fondly held desire to head off to sunny Spain next season.

But enough of our triumphs and onto England’s. Ahem. Following yesterday utter disarray when our middle order made a Saturday night post pub kebab shop queue look orderly and well disciplined, it was down to good ol’ KP to rescue us with a thrilling century which not so much hauled the fat out of the fire, but shoved it to bottom the freezer and supercooled it for three months.

With a fine supporting act from diminutive Tim Ambrose it was the best last hope stand since a combined Welsh XI held off the Zulus at the Rorke’s Drift oval in 1879.

There’s been much talk of not changing a winning team, consistency of selection and backing players even if they’re totally out of form and couldn’t hit a ban door with a sledgehammer and to an extent that is true; to the extent that it’s absolute bollocks.

Not changing a winning team? If the Fred was fit he’d walk straight back in. End of.
Loyalty to players in a bad trot is fine up to a point but just like certain deranged evangelical Christians who went faced with a difficult dilemma ask ‘What would Jesus do?’, the cricketing equivalent is asking ‘what would the Aussies do?

The answer is drop Bell and Collingwood like a shot and bring in Ravi Bopara and poor neglected Owais Shah.

Toodle pip.

Swing Your Pants...

As super secret weapons go it’s hardly up there with Fat Man and Little Boy, Cruise Missiles or the Strategic Defence Initiative, but today during the third and final Test at Trent Bridge the Kiwis opened up a new front in their quest to draw the series by unveiling a potentially frightening new armament, swinging trousers.

Powerful enough to scare children, small animals and possibly even opening batsmen, these swinging Microshine trousers are apparently constructed of a cunning new material specially formulated to keep one side of the ball shiny and swinging throughout an innings.

We can almost hear the snorts of the outraged blazers from here, but unfortunately we’ll never have a chance to find out the efficacy of this potentially lethal new weapon as right on the point of deployment, the Kiwi’s captain Daniel Vittori confirmed they’d had second thoughts and declined to take to the field in the miracle trews.

Never mind we say. Sportsmen are always looking for a cutting edge, but enahanced flannels are hardly the way forward and just like the SDI, these super strides must unfortunately be consigned to the laundry basket of history.

Should I stay or should I go?

A world weary sigh escapes our lips today over the ongoing saga of Should I stay or should I go? Cristiano ‘Ronnie’ Ronaldo the world’s most exciting playerTM and his ongoing and very public flirting with Real Madrid, which would quite frankly put the cast of We’re All Nymphos Come Hither and Shag Us Big Boy* to shame.

Despite Sir Alex Ferguson’s direst warnings about Real’s very public courting (pot, kettle anyone?) and even ‘Saint’ David Beckham warnings, Ronny’s apparently now finally made up his little mind (no changing, no turning back, finally, definitely, promise) to head Bernabeu-wards for £75m in fees, a 150k a week after tax (wtf?), hotter pussy senoritas and a warmer climate.

The waters have most definitely been muddied by Ronnie’s curiously bi-lingual approach to the problem, ask him in Spanish and he’s all ‘Si senor, I will be there mañana,’ ask him in English and it’s ‘nay lad I’m staying as I’m addicted to black pudding, fat lasses and European cups’.

So like that famous conundrum when confronted by a hot tub full of willing nubiles, which way should he ultimately swing?

Well we simply report, it’s you, the readers who ultimately decide.

*This is not an actual real porno, but given that title we made up perhaps it should be?

Cricket loathly cricket

So much on the radar today including Max Mosely’s surviving his vote of no confidence over the Nazi Orgy of Shame, poor old Gazza sectioned for his ongoing woes and Sir Alex Ferguson’s in-depth interview which is being trailed all around Sky where he admits his biggest disappointment was not signing the troubled Geordie genius (oh how different it might all have been if that had happened).

However bucking the trend we’re going to write about none of that and instead concentrate on BBC4’s excellent Not Cricket season, which last night told the stories of Hansie ‘hands in your pocket’ Cronje and Basil D’Olivera.

Cronje’s tale, the Captain and The Bookmaker was an interesting doc and if anything only increased our loathing for the South African crook who brought the great game into disrepute because it highlighted even further how he exploited the non-white players under his charge to further his grubby financial ends. Even so, he ended up seeming to be a figure to be pitied rather than hated.

Even more fascinating though were two allegations from Marlon Aronstam the bookie concerned, who reckoned Cronje wasn’t caught by the Indian police, but they were tipped off by powerful Indian bookies because Cronje didn’t deliver the results they asked for.

Of even more concern was the revelation that Cronje had joint bank accounts with some 70 other players from that period of the game and that Aronstam believed that Cronje was essentially scapegoated for the far more numerous international players were on the take. Sure Aronstam could have been sensationalising for effect, but those beady little eyes seemed in deadly earnest.

A more heartening tale was that of Basil ‘Dolly’ D’Olivera, the South African batting genius whose prodigious batting talent eventually helped to ultimately bring down the loathsome apartheid regime. Pure gold helped by the fact that D’Olivera is still alive and able to shed fascinating insight into the contemporary issues and a true reminder that sport can be a powerful force for change in the real world.

If you’re quick you’ll be able to catch them both on the BBC I-Player and add to your Broadband service providers bandwidth woes.

Enger-land pt. 2

Sunday is normally considered a day of rest (and not just for the Trinidad and Tobago back four), so it was a touch unusual to find ourselves tuning in at 10.30pm last night to catch England’s ahem epic finale to the international season.

Reader, it wasn’t quite as we’d originally dreamed it, with JT lifting the European championship trophy to be followed by wide acclaim and nationwide domestic rioting, but instead a piss poor friendly which had so little nutritional content, it might have crawled straight out of Sainsbury’s Back to Basics budget range.

Yup we know it was all about the politics and now we’ve fed the ego of T&T’s Jack Warner, he might vote for us in the second round for the 2018 finals (or not, who’s going to make him, now we’ve played the fixture?).

But really this was of pretty much zero interest with the T&T boys giving the England midfield so much time and space they might have been fielding eleven Doctor Whos.

Now we’ll watch pretty any much football on TV (barring the ladies of course) but this was so one-side even we were forced to call it quits and retreat to bed at half time, like a disinterested dogger who’s suddenly found the windows are far too steamed up to appreciate the action.

On this evidence thank god it’s all over for another season and there’s not a big tournament to occupy our thoughts during this long and hopefully extremely hot summer

...oh wait.