As super secret weapons go it’s hardly up there with Fat Man and Little Boy, Cruise Missiles or the Strategic Defence Initiative, but today during the third and final Test at Trent Bridge the Kiwis opened up a new front in their quest to draw the series by unveiling a potentially frightening new armament, swinging trousers. Powerful enough to scare children, small animals and possibly even opening batsmen, these swinging Microshine trousers are apparently constructed of a cunning new material specially formulated to keep one side of the ball shiny and swinging throughout an innings.
We can almost hear the snorts of the outraged blazers from here, but unfortunately we’ll never have a chance to find out the efficacy of this potentially lethal new weapon as right on the point of deployment, the Kiwi’s captain Daniel Vittori confirmed they’d had second thoughts and declined to take to the field in the miracle trews.
Never mind we say. Sportsmen are always looking for a cutting edge, but enahanced flannels are hardly the way forward and just like the SDI, these super strides must unfortunately be consigned to the laundry basket of history.
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