When Man City’s new owners said they were going to sign Ronaldo, we’re pretty sure they had Cristiano rather than Luis Nazário de Lima in mind... Still it’s with a sad upside downy smile and a heavy heart we have to report breaking news this lunchtime that gap-toothed wunderkind, ex-Brazilian goal machine and World Cup final dodger Ronaldo will not be signing for Man City this season.
Sadly another footballing dream must die, crushed by the cold harsh weight of reality, but still it’s an opportunity wasted in our book, an opportunity to send a clear message to the rest of the businessmen, billionaires and would-be owners currently circling the premier League like a pack of bloated vultures.
Yes Ronaldo is not the player he was: his weight’s up, his skills are down and he might struggle to pass a fitness test for the Telly Tubbies (although he did bang in 9 goals in 20 games for Milan last year), but City could have made an impact by snapping him up.
As a statement of intent Ronaldo’s signing could not have been clearer and that statement would have read, “We’re now so loaded we can afford to have big boy loafing about in the stands on a £100,000 a week and not even blink. So what are the rest of you gonna do?”
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