Anti-Climax

It’s Tuesday the day after transfer deadline day and while we should be absolutely bursting with gobsmacking signings to dissect, instead the window has closed with a clang every bit as inauspicious as a fortune cookie which reveals ‘You’re are about to die ...from eating a poisoned fortune cookie’.

When the biggest news is that Spurs have bought back three players they used to own six months ago, you know it’s not exactly been a thriller and as for the Arshavin deal, well could you just get on with it already?

(BREAKING EXCLUSIVE: Arshavin will take the number 23 shirt, courtesy of top spotter Mitch, who has a mate who was stalking Arshavin at the Elstree village hotel last night).

Yet even on that bombshell, we’re seriously starting to lose the will to live.

Robbie Keane has our sympathies though: whether he simply couldn’t play in the system/was second choice behind Gerrard/Torres (not an ideal place to mount a challenge for a regular starting slot) or was simply a victim of Benitez flexing his muscles, we’ll never know.

Probably all three and we wish him well back at the Lane.

Nope the most interesting story today has been the hundreds of shocked Americans who’re complaining because their cable station started broadcasting porn during Sunday’s Super Bowl.

There’s just no pleasing some people.

Rafa’s rants: Part deux

Oh dear, we take a day off to do some cheeky freelance and look what happens, Senor Benitez is off on one again, after Wigan's Mido snatched a late equalizer in last night’s ‘crazy’ encounter to deny the Reds three points.

The source of Rafa’s ire this time? Well actually he prefers not to say. No seriously, he really doesn’t want to tell us.

“I prefer not to say too much but I am not happy with a lot of things... I am disappointed with a number of things but no, the Wigan approach I will not talk about them".

"It has happened in the last three games. They have something in common I don't like. I know why but I cannot say anything."

Mysterious, no? Something’s obviously bugging Rafa, but could it be? Suggestions in the comments below please.

But we say get it off your chest lad and damn the consequences. Joe Kinnear was only fined £500 notes for calling Martin Atkinson a Mickey Mouse ref.

Invest a good couple of grand Rafa and really let rip. It’ll do you the power of good!

Rafa’s Rants part 1

In what’s sure to just the first instalment of an ongoing series, today we pay tribute to Liverpool boss Rafa ‘Town Crier’ Benitez, who’s launched a pre-emptive strike against Fergie and his Red Devil minions in the very first chapter of The Gospel According To Rafa.

The substance we won’t get into, although it has to be said Fergie does appear to enjoy a certain protected heritage status when it comes to pronouncements of his own - and you wouldn't be human if you didn't have a sly giggle at the notion of man-marking the United staff in the tunnel.

Would you favour man to man or zonal Rafa?

Yet it’s the style which concerns us most. Rafa’s undoubtedly been niggled by a few of Fergie’s canny ‘casual’ asides, but why choose last week to retaliate when the Scousers were sitting pretty at the top of the table?

Just like the US, we’re all for launching a pre-emptive strike, ie. get your retaliation in before the other guy even knows he’s at war, but on this occasion has Rafa gone way too early?

In other tales of dark doings we have to pose the question is Maradona a secret Fergie agent?

Apparently the pint-sized Argentinean supremo interrupted his orgy of cocaine and hookers as he lit a cigar at the Radisson Edwardian in Manc-town, causing the entire hotel including the Chelsea squad to be rousted out and evacuated in the early-ish hours of Sunday morning.

Hardly the best preparation for their 3-0 shooing by United yesterday.

Perhaps there’s something in Rafa’s rants after all?