SPOTY

Sunday* sees us in reflective mood and enjoying a second consecutive win by our beloved Hornets which has propelled them alarmingly up the table, inducing a vertigo-like but pleasant sense of smugness as peer down on the unfortunates below. Perhaps it’s not too late to rescue something from this season after all?

But today’s main event is undoubtedly the Beeb’s Spurts Personality of the Year which has decamped to the grim north of Liverpool and in which punters (ie. you and I) are supposed to participate by voting for the erm best spurting personality of the year.

Bit of a shit name it has to be said, ‘personality’ what does that mean exactly? You can’t help feeling Britain’s Favourite Sportsman would be more accurate.

Still there’s a bumper crop to choose from this year and for our money it’s down to Lewis, Chris Hoy or Rebecca Adlington. Each is a worthy contender: a quite super double ‘Medal’ from Adlington in the pool, especially since we’d won bugger all for ages and of course our admiration for Lewis is well known. Has there ever been a more exciting climax to an Formula One season?

But it’s Hoy who has to edge it: three Golds is a stunning achievement and cheering him on in the keirin was a highlight of our spurting year. Wonder if the greater British spurting public will agree?


*No funny pictures today, it’s the day of rest and we can’t be arsed….

Sour grapes

Another awesome morning for Team GB as Chris Hoy and Victoria Pendleton nab another couple of Golds in the Sprint finals for the all-conquering Cyclists.

Imagine when Normo Tebbs told Britain to get on its bike back in our last recession he didn’t exactly have this in mind. Wiggins, Pendleton and especially triple gold medallist and flying Scot Chris Hoy, the Spurt salutes you...

All this Gold medal success has come as a bit of surprise to us normally unassuming Brits but also to insouciant professional Frenchman and occasional Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger, who professes himself surprised at Team GB’s swimming success.

"I didn't know the English were good at swimming, I have been in this country for 12 years and I haven't seen a swimming pool," says Arsene.

Blimey no wonder they’re known colloquially as the smelly French, wonder how long it’ll be before he tracks down a bath or shower? Or checks the medal table? France a lowly 11th as we type.

Anyway those sour grapes shouldn’t disguise Team GB’s real goal of the games.

Forget that 41 medals target, our real goal is to finish ahead of those friggin’ Aussies.

Not only would it get one in before the Ashes, but earning four years worth of bragging rights, now that would be sweet.

They’ll be serving us a lot of drinks between now and then.