Back from the dead

We’re a misanthropic curmudgeonly bunch of bastards on the whole here at the Spurt - it’s not so much an outlook as a totally ingrained way of life.

Yet even our cold, flinty inhuman hearts were defrosted just the teeniest little bit last night by the triumphant rebirth of Eduardo, Arsenal’s Brazilian-born Croatian striker, who celebrated his return from a horrendous year-long career-threatening injury by banging a couple past Cardiff.

Okay easy meat perhaps but it was as heart-warming as watching a lickle orphan being reunited with their long-lost, rich (and hopefully not too paedo) uncle after years of neglect.

Altogether now aaaaw....

Anyway with Walcott due back any moment and even Cesc on the road to Wellville, the question is being asked: could the Arse mount a late spurt for the title?

Answer: erm nope, but it might at least ensure a top four finish and piss on Martin O’Neill’s chips. Should be an interesting run in for the also-rans.

Elsewhere: England from 51 all out to 566-9 declared in just seven days? Choose your mainstream media cliché from the list below:

1) Zeroes to Heroes
2) What a Difference a Week Makes!
3) Colly gives Windies the wobbles

Answer 3) Obv - we're wasted here you know...

Hammer and tongs...

Not much time to blog today as the crack of the slavemasters whips constantly whistles around our ears and the drummer acting as stroke pounds out his monotonous and wearying rhythm. Boom, boom, boom. Pull, pull, pull!

Ahem, anyway, but we couldn’t possibly miss doing something on last night’s pulsating Champions League fixture as Liverpool took on Arsenal in one of the truly memorable European encounters.

Frankly, this one had everything going for it from the off, from dodgy tactical selections (Gerrard at left midfield, Kolo Toure at right back?) to possibly suspect penalties and four goals in the last ten minutes. As a spectacle there’s been little or nothing finer to savour all year.

Forget the dour predictions of a 1-1 draw and the interminable lottery of penalties, this was two great Premiership sides going at hit hammer and tongs with little quarter asked and none given.

Benitez’s dodgy tactics saw Arsenal played Liverpool off the park for the first twenty minutes, but Hypia’s goal restored confidence and Torres’ second half strike was superb. Then Walcott off the bench and a simply amazing run which for all the world should have won it for the Gunners. But less than two minutes later – penalty (deserved - but on this Arsene Wenger’s usual myopia strangely deserted him). Anfield holds its breath, Gerrard slots it home and Babel secures the win as Arsenal push for an equaliser.

Phew, we’re almost breathless from writing and it was more nip and tuck than a surgeons’ convention.

While several Gunners fans of our acquaintance are crying into their beer and other Scousers are equally breathing a sigh of welcome relief, both can take pride in providing one of the greatest of all European nights. It’s difficult to see two continental teams serving up such raw gripping entertainment.

Gourmet Gunners

The Premiership, touted as the best league in the world and it probably just about is with its trademark pace, power and passion resulting in football of the most exciting and eminently watchable kind.

But equally, like connoisseurs of a particularly obscure branch of pornography, we occasionally like to sample a bit more of a cerebral incarnation of the beautiful game here on World of Spurt.

That’s why the prospect of a Champions League Tuesdays often rattles our collective chains during the workaday work-a-day, as we slowly measure out each and every individual second until we can escape the dull monotony we laughingly call gainful employment.

Okay so it’s broadcast on ITV, but there’s a price to pay for every iota of pleasure in our experience.

Still, last night’s AC Milan versus Arsenal game was truly one of the great European nights of recent memory. A fascinating duel between two outstanding teams, it was a joy to watch Fabregas et al, slowly, almost lovingly dissect Maldini and co. over the course of 90 minutes.

A truly cerebral encounter, it was a masterclass in tactical acumen, intricate passing and movement and the dark arts of defending , in short it had everything a Premiership game lacks and was all the better for it. A true connoisseurs experience, we could feel our footballing IQ slowly creep up with every pass.

It would be all too easy to write it up as the old order changeth with the young Gunners displacing a glorious but increasingly decrepit old guard

...so that’s exactly what we’re going to do.