Shane Warne: The Musical

A slight break in our December post-a-thon yesterday as we suffered a distinct bout of the creeping lurgy but we return today undeterred by the vile germs still infecting our corporeal self to scribble once more.

Talking of corporeal selves and heading straight to our inbox via specialty trained carrier-wombat to be immediately filed under ‘we shit you not’ comes news of Shane Warne: The Musical, a re-imagining of the Aussie spinner’s brilliant on-field and occasionally torrid off-field antics, featuring singing, dancing and well all the rest of that musical stuff.

Now while Mrs Spurt loves the musical theatre, we are normally more ambivalent and usually view such happenings through tightly clenched teeth, but even we are tempted by the fat boy’s theatrical debut.

Believed to feature such well loved musical numbers as the Sex Pest’s Texting Song, Diuretics Are A Boy’s Best Friend and Just Don’t Tell The Sheila Indoors, SW: The musical will chart the rise, fall and rise again of Australia’s favourite filler of column inches.

From obscure beer-swilling, pizza-noshing, fag smoking blond Aussie beach bum to erm very rich and rather famous beer-swilling, pizza noshing, fag smoking blond Aussie beach bum - oh and quite possibly the greatest spinner who ever lived.

Kidding aside, the Warner has long been one of our top ever players and as the Oval chorused in 2005 ‘ We only wish he were English’.

A two, three, four... “Diuretics Are A Boy’s Best Friend...”