Turning the other cheek

He’s just the manager who keeps on giving, offering more value per pound that Sainsbury’s Basics range (cheques in the post please).

Still, no magic tunnels for Jose Felix Mourinho last night (other than the one he dug for himself) following a footballing lesson from Manchester United which sent the Serie A leaders tumbling headlong – like Satan from heaven to go all Miltonian for a second – out of the Champions League.

So how did Jose react to one of his rare defeats against Sir Alex? Was it a rueful acknowledgement over a vintage bottle of red? Did he stare moodily for hours into the middle distance until he saw something he liked (ie. himself).

Nope instead he (allegedly) lamped a United fan who had the effrontery to shout ‘Going home, going home, going home!’ (which curiously is precisely what he was doing).

What wit, what repartee, truly the reaction of a renaissance man.

Mourinho’s Magic door

An intriguing European night full of technical excellence, outstanding endeavour and tactical nuance, but enough of our Shrove Tuesday pancake session, we speak of course of the classic Inter v Man Utd game at the San Siro.

A great opening half from United, Inter back into it second half, chances on both sides and despite the dearth of goals a very entertaining game.

But of course the revelation of the night was Mourinho’s magic door which apparently leads from the Inter dug out to who knows where...

As José Mário dos Santos Félix said, "My dugout is a special dugout because we have a door which gives me the chance to leave it directly,"

Debate has raged all erm lunchtime. Does it lead to Narnia? Is it a secret route to Jose’s secret 300 Euro wine stash? Or does it lead, as we’ve long suspected, up his own arsehole?

We report, you decide....