Mixing it up

Just like Canned Heat, we're back on the road again today and down in Sunny Bath, sampling both the ancient delights and the local pasties, which are often one and the same thing down in these parts.

We begin with F1 and with pre-season now in full swing, mad bad news from the world of Bernie with the revelation that this year's drivers' championship will be decided by the number of wins, rather than the number of points scored. Nice in theory, shit in practice and you can't help thinking it's designed specifically for the edification of Ferrari once more, because they didn't win last year. Aw diddums. Surely F1 driving is about consistency over a season and points are the best way to decide this? We could've accepted 12 points for a win, but this way it could be all over by the British GP....

Football now and Phlegm and the world of phlegm men, did that nice young Spanish lad Cesc really flop a lugey at Hull's assistant manager Brian Horton. Predictably Le Professor saw nothing, but who does Fabregas think he is: El-Hadj Diouf?

And finally... could everyone just leave West Ham alone please? Up to 20 Sheffield United players, plus ex-manager Neil Warnock are suing the Hammers over the Carlos Tevez affair.

We say: back off and get in line - we were there first. Our writs courtesy of Messrs. Sue, Nabbit and Fukov are already in. Not sure what we'll do them for yet, but by the time it gets to court we'll have thought of a damn good reason don't you worry.

Chinese Grand Prix: So boring it was exciting

And so to Sunday where we were up at the previously un-discovered hour of eight bells to catch the Chinese Grand Prix. Not ever really a natural environment for a sports hack (except to nab a couple of headache pills before going back to sleep), it’s a cold grey murky world at that time of the day, only enlivened by a warming cup of char with a decently sized snifter nestling in it.

Still, following last weekend’s dismal showing from Lewis in Japan, we felt we had to be there live to see the drama unfold and we weren’t disappointed.

We say drama, what we actually mean is procession and as a race, this was deeply deeply tedious stuff, with Master Hamilton making a perfect start, disappearing into the middle distance and giving the trailing Ferraris a huge metaphorical finger.

The victory was as tedious as it was inevitable, so boring it was perversely exciting, as Lewis simply ate up the laps and took the chequered flag by a distance.

Hamilton’s been (wrongly) criticised in the past (and even the past two weeks) for being too aggressive, too arrogant, too much of a risk taker, but they’re exactly the qualities which make him such a great racing driver.

However on this occasion he was just glad to be grey and we’re extremely happy he was made it that way.