The dream has died

We’re fresh back from a sojourn in the West Country today my lovely, so catching up on all the latest as Manchester City, the self-styled (and aren’t those words always written with malicious glee?) richest club in the world have gone from 100m wonders to Woolworth’s rejects in just under 24 hours.

So the dream has died and Kaka will not be gracing the Premiership. A shame really, but on the probability scale it ranks alongside Fergie admitting he was wrong, Andy Murray winning gracefully and Ferrari being penalised in an F1 championship, in the big bad list of things that are never likely to happen.

But what of the latest trouble at t’Middle Eastlands? Robinho’s alleged hissy fit and immediate retreat to spend more time with his family – what was that all about?

“Nothing to do with Kaka’ says Robinho, ‘Everything to do with Bellamy’ says the Spurt as we exclusive tipped on Monday (well sort of).

Seems the Milanese playmaker isn’t the only Brazilian fearing a midnight visit from the nine-iron wielding Welshman.

In the Kaka...

It’s Wednesday, a quiet day in the spurting galaxy and with no shocks in last night’s FA cup, precious few in prospect tonight and even Gazza behaving himself for once, we raise our eyes to the heavens and implore the spurting gods ‘FFS give us something to work with here’.

Fortunately salvation comes in the form of the transfer merry-go-round and the quite-simply-staggering prospect of Brazilian genius Kaka moving to Man City for the bargain price of 100m Euro or Quid, with wages of around 500k a week.

We’re as divided as a pair of post-op co-joined twins. As well as having a vaguely amusing name (if you’re American and like scatological references) Kaka’s a bone fide genius and we’d absolutely love to see him play over here.

Yet that’s over double Zidane’s record breaking price and surely some kind of sanity must prevail? If City managed to pull this off we’ll have to invent a new term for nouveau riche. Mucho riche anyone?

Kind of puts the whole Roque Santa Cruz saga into perspective too.

Perhaps sanity will prevail though as Kaka’s agent Diogo Kotscho as well as slipping in a sly dig in at fellow Brazilian, told Corriere dello Sport "He [Kaka] would never do something like Robinho, who, just to earn more, contented himself with a solution that was not a winning one."

We’re also starting our shameless ‘come and get me plea’ award of the day which has to go to Newcastle’s moody Frenchy Charles N’Zogbia who told a French sports daily. “The club want to sell some players, so why not me? Lyon, make a move!"

Classy Charles, very classy.

A tale of two Ronaldos

When Man City’s new owners said they were going to sign Ronaldo, we’re pretty sure they had Cristiano rather than Luis Nazário de Lima in mind...

Still it’s with a sad upside downy smile and a heavy heart we have to report breaking news this lunchtime that gap-toothed wunderkind, ex-Brazilian goal machine and World Cup final dodger Ronaldo will not be signing for Man City this season.

Sadly another footballing dream must die, crushed by the cold harsh weight of reality, but still it’s an opportunity wasted in our book, an opportunity to send a clear message to the rest of the businessmen, billionaires and would-be owners currently circling the premier League like a pack of bloated vultures.

Yes Ronaldo is not the player he was: his weight’s up, his skills are down and he might struggle to pass a fitness test for the Telly Tubbies (although he did bang in 9 goals in 20 games for Milan last year), but City could have made an impact by snapping him up.

As a statement of intent Ronaldo’s signing could not have been clearer and that statement would have read, “We’re now so loaded we can afford to have big boy loafing about in the stands on a £100,000 a week and not even blink. So what are the rest of you gonna do?”

Big four becomes big five?

Sensayshanul!!!! Sorry to go all down market and tabloid on you, but we’re never afraid to mix it with the red tops and really there’s no other word to sum up what can only be described as the most exciting transfer deadline day in recent history.

We thought it might be all about Berbatov and Robinho and it was, but quite not in the way that we'd imagined. Manchester City stepping out of the shadows to nab Robinho from under Big Phil’s nose and put in an audacious last minute bid to try and spoil Sir Alex’s party. Whoddathoughit?

As statements of intent go it doesn’t get more convincing than that and with the blue half of Manchester now apparently owned by The Abu Dhabi United Group, who have bottomless pockets and an intention to dominate, a new seismic shift in the delicate footballing cosmos has begun.

With money no object, could we see the big four become a big five? Or will either Arsenal or more likely Liverpool have to make way? Frankly, we scoffed when Ronaldhino to Man City was mooted earlier in the season, but now frankly, anything seems possible.

We’ll stir the mischief pot with the unthinkable. Ronaldo to cross the dividing line? You heard it here first.

Let’s hope they keep Mark Hughes on board though. One of the most talented young British managers around, ‘Sparky’ is one element of the MCFC mix the ADUG would be wise to retain.